


Operation: Wooing The In-Laws

by atomicmuffin



Category: Naruto
Genre: And I can't be convinced otherwise, BAMF Hyuuga Hinata, Crack, Domestic Fluff, Don't copy to another site, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Hyuuga Clan-centric, Hyuuga Neji Lives, Minor Original Character(s), POV Multiple, Stealth Caretaker Naruto, adorable uzumaki naruto
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-10
Updated: 2019-01-10
Packaged: 2019-10-06 05:45:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17339654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atomicmuffin/pseuds/atomicmuffin
Summary: "All I can say is that it made perfect sense in my head at the time and I have zero regrets.” Uzumaki Hyuga Naruto, on the day of his wedding.Or: How one Uzumaki Naruto convinced every single member of his significant other's clan to adopt him. Or maybe he was the one to adopt them. No one can really tell.





	Operation: Wooing The In-Laws

**Author's Note:**

  * For [chanlyeya](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chanlyeya/gifts).



> Happy birthday Chan! I wanted to write something like 'Five Shades of Bakugou in the Naruto Universe' but Brain said Nope and decided to use a convo from the discord about the Hyuga Clan and Naruto from forever ago instead (you might not even remember but apparently I do LOL). What can I say, Lizard Brain does what the lizard brain wants to do ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯.
> 
> Balentay conspired with me and RavenShira and JaliaZanagAjaje (Allison) betaed this work!

When Hinata-sama had announced Uzumaki Naruto and herself were an 'item' more than six months ago, Ko had smiled, congratulated her and stopped himself from saying anything discouraging. It couldn't hurt for her to have a bit of fun before she had to settle down with a proper companion, he'd thought. It wasn't like their couple would last anyway, he'd thought. They were just too different people, he'd thought.

Except almost a year later, Hinata-sama and her beau were still together and going strong. What was meant to be a sweet but brief love escapade had turned into something scaringly more serious. And unfortunately, it had to stop. No matter how much dating the Uzumaki made Hinata-sama happy, their story would have to come to an end eventually. Hinata-sama was meant to lead the Clan. She  _belonged_ within the Clan in a way that could not be overlooked, sad as it was.

Her consort simply could not be a rough, loudmouthed, improper orphan, even one who had become a war hero. No matter how much she loved him.

Their world didn't work like that.

In the end, Ko had no choice but to act. For her own sake. It would hurt in the beginning but she would get over it, and it would be just as well in the long run.

Or so he was trying to convince himself as he stared at Uzumaki's door, gathering the courage to actually knock and get the whole business dealt with. But why was he the one forced to confront the strongest shinobi in the entire village and kill Hinata-sama's dreams? Couldn't the Elders send someone else to do their dirty laundry?

Why was it always  _Ko_?

"Oh hey!" the cheerful tone of said Uzumaki rose from behind Ko's back. "You're Hinata-chan's cousin! Ka? Koi?"

Ko swiftly turned back, attempting to reign his surprise behind the classic mask of blankness. He had been so distracted he hadn't even heard the loudest ninja to ever grace Konoha's ground arrive. What kind of Hyuuga was he?

"My name is Hyuuga Ko, Uzumaki-san," he said, bending his head slightly in greeting.

Instead of replying in kind as it would have been polite, the blond merely laughed sheepishly, bags full of groceries dangling in his hands.  _Unacceptable_. "Right right, sorry dude! Didja need something?"

Ko moved side-way to allow Uzumaki access to his door. "As a matter of fact, I do. Pardon me for my boldness, but I would like to request a audience with you, Uzumaki-san."

"Aha, you don't have to have to act so formal with me, bro," Uzumaki grinned widely as he opened the door, gesturing at his guest to come in. "I have time for a little chat! Make yourself at home, 'kay?"

The sentiment was appreciated enough, Ko supposed, but nearly impossible to put in practice. He hardly could think of a place that looked less like his home than the disaster Uzumaki called a flat. Clothes were spread randomly everywhere, unsheathed weapons cluttered the table, an entire jungle of potted plants grew untamed over the cracked walls. It looked like a tempest had invited itself in and never left. Dear lord, he even had the misfortune to spot among the ambient chaos no less than three pairs of dirty underwear hanging on various surfaces, five empty cups of ramen waiting to be put out of their misery and, horrors of horrors,  _a set of mismatched plastic tea cups_.

How  _dare_ he. Clearly that man was the living antithesis of Hyuuganess and needed to be stopped. He couldn't believe Hinata-sama had been exposed to such a barbaric lifestyle for  _months_. Willingly no less!

"Uh have a seat?" Uzumaki winced at the state of his beat-up couch, hastily gathered a pile of dirty laundry, a stack of comic books and empty bags of chips and threw them inside his already over-crowded closet. As if that was enough to erase their existence. Out of sight, out of mind, but for trash. He shuddered to think what else might lay hidden in its depths.

Ko eyed the cracked-leather couch skeptically and racked his brain for a valid excuse to avoid making contact with it. God only knew what kind of germs lived in this hell hole. "I thank you for your…  _hospitality_  but it won't be necessary. I don't plan to take much of your time."

"Oh," Uzumaki rubbed the back of his head, looking slightly more anxious than before. "Okay?"

...Well then. No going back. Ko leant back on his heels and silently attempted to gather his courage. "Uzumaki-san. It has not escaped our notice, and by our I mean the members of the Hyuuga Clan and Hinata-sama's family, that your relationship with our heiress has gotten… shall we say  _serious_."

At the mention of his relationship with Hinata-sama, Uzumaki  _blushed_  in a way Ko would have never thought physiologically possible, considering his type of skin. "Uhm yeah, Hinata-chan and I have been dating for a while now? But but, I do everything to treat her right, ya know! I do like Sakura-chan said, I pull out her chair, I bring her flowers, I wash behind my ears, I'm never late! Well almost never late...But that was one time, and there  _really_  wasa cat stuck in a tree, I swear to god, and Hinata-chan said it was all fine anyway…"

"And we, as her family, appreciate your efforts Uzumaki-san," Ko cut in. That conversation was nothing if not physically painful and he wanted to be done with it as soon as possible. "Nonetheless, you must understand Hinata-sama has a role to fulfill towards her family. And with that comes duties, responsibilities and a certain level of  _standards_."

Uzumaki nodded along furiously, even though he clearly had no idea where Ko was going with this conversation. "Yeah totally! Hinata-chan is working so hard!"

Ko felt like tearing up at the genuine admiration glinting in Uzumaki's blue eyes. He firmly swiped his empathy underneath the rug of his mind and buckled up for a wild ride. "Yes. Precisely. Unfortunately, this level of requirement also apply to whoever will share her life. Such a person will need to be as irreproachable as Hinata-sama is. Willing and prepared to make important sacrifices for the sake of the Clan. And of course, he will have to be approved by  _every single member_  of the Clan."

Last part was a bold lie. As nobody could manage to get along more than two seconds, aside from criticizing other clans and spitting on the outrageous price of tea, being approved by everyone would simply be an impossible task. But her future husband did need to be approved by the Elders. And an unpredictable wild card like Uzumaki Naruto would never be enough.

"Oh," his interlocutor gaped, looking rightfully devastated.

"Yes," Ko confirmed sadly. He felt like garbage for ruining their youthful romance, but it truly couldn't be helped.

He could see the exact moment the meaning of what he just said sunk in Uzumaki's thick skull. Except instead of looking crushed or outright cry, who could tell with the Number One Unpredictable Ninja, Uzumaki actually  _brightened._

"Oh! Yeah I get it! Thanks for telling me bro!" Uzumaki directed his infamous thousand-watt smile toward Ko, grabbing his hand and shaking it vigorously. "You're a true friend, Kai!"

"It's Ko," he corrected automatically, utterly confused by the way this conversation had unfolded. "And...you think so?"

"Yeah, totally! Ya know how I am, I would have never noticed on my own aha! Don't worry about everything, Uzumaki Naruto will solve this problem!"

"You will?" Ko repeated, gobsmacked.

"You can count on it!" Uzumaki gave him the thumb up vigorously.

So that was people meant when they affirmed they got 'Uzumaki'ed'. An overwhelming mix of reluctant awe and complete bemusement, wrapped in dazzled confusion. Ko couldn't help thinking he had made everything worse by accident.

Well. At least he tried. The Elders could sort out the rest, Ko was so done with their bullshit. They could handle the beast on their own.

.

At twelve years old, Neji had learnt to accept Fate was one big fat lie and some things in life had no logical explanation. They just happened, and one should know better than to question them, if one wanted keep their sanity more or less functional. And by  _learnt_  he meant he got the life lesson beaten into his head. Literally. Twelve years old Neji was unfortunately not the sharpest kunai in the armory, no matter what he thought at the time.

Uzumaki 'Force Of Nature Dattebayo' Naruto was definitely one of those things that went beyond mere common mortals' comprehension. He should come with a 'Dont Ask Don't Ask _Just Don't Ask_ ' warning.

And Neji knew that,  _he really did_ , yet he couldn't help but wonder: "What the hell are you doing?"

At the sudden noise, all the Narutos turned towards him and shushed at him, except the clone hanging on the highest branch of the venerable abalone. At least Neji  _hoped_ it was a clone. "Shhhh Neji! You're going to get us caught! What are  _you_ doing?"

And there Neji should have just kept going on his merry way and erased the incident from his memory. No one who had never been confronted to what the knucklehead unironically called  _brilliant ideas_  would have blamed him. But no. He had yet to learn his lesson. He just  _had to keep asking_.

"Getting a snack. Which I'm allowed to do since this is my own goddamn house."

"At three am?" the Naruto Neji assumed to be the real one frowned disapprovingly as the others got back to...whatever the fuck they were doing before Neji so rudely interrupted them. "Sleep is important, ya know!"

If Neji hadn't been formatted since birth not to express his emotions physically, he would have been either gaping incredulously or cackling hysterically. "I can't believe  _you_ 're saying this to me right now. Do I even want to know why you broke into our private propriety in the middle of the night to...feed the carpes, trim trees and  _plant tulips_?"

Naruto eyed the bed of freshly inverted soil with growing panic. "You're saying  _tulips_  like it's a bad word...I knew I should have picked the lys instead, dammit."

It said a lot about Neji's strength of character that he managed to avoid facepalming in public. The temptation was real. "Not. The. Fucking. Point.  _Naruto_."

"Jeez, fine!" the blond had the audacity to roll his eyes as his clones snickered in the background. One of them almost fell on the pound. "So, one of your clanmates told me if I wanted to keep dating Hinata-chan, I had to step up my game and get all the clan on my side."

Oh for fuck's sake. Only Naruto. "Did he really?"

"Eh. Not exactly in those words but I ain't stupid," Naruto crossed his arms in front of his chest defiantly. "I can read subtext like everyone else ya know!"

It was crazy. Such a Naruto-est kind of crazy Neji couldn't help but smile with resigned fondness. "By illegally breaking in and planting tulips in secret?"

"You Hyuuga sure love your garden," the blond mumbled defensively. "Now, when you put it like that, it seems really silly."

"It is silly," and endearing, Neji had to admit to himself, before a flash of realisation crossed his mind. "Wait. Are you the lunatic who's been leaving meals in our kitchen?"

"Yeah!" Naruto brightened up. " Did you guys like it? Those were my mom's recipe! I found some old stuff of hers at Kakashi-sensei's place!"

Neji wouldn't know. They had thrown it all away after destroying the carefully made food by searching for poison. He couldn't find the strength within himself to tell his friend the cold hard truth though. Not with how hopeful Naruto looked. "...Yes. It was very good. You should try adding basil."

The blond beamed with pleasure. "Basil! Okay!"

"And the instant ramen in the pantry?" Neji narrowed his eyes suspiciously. It seemed obvious in retrospect. Who else would sneak in a highly secured house just to leave  _dozens of ramen packs_  in the pantry.

"You guys were cruelly ramen deprived," Naruto shook his head, genuinely horrified. "I noticed when I did the laundry. I couldn't let you go on like that, ya know!"

Of course. Of fucking course. "You're the one who dyed our clothes in orange. And I assume the 'Hyuugas rock!' tag on the Hokage Tower is also your work?"

Everyone had gone  _mad_ trying to figure out who was pranking them, once it was established the 'gifter' had no malicious intentions. The Elders were losing their shit over the whole mystery. Now that he thought about it, everyone except Hinata-sama. Her amused smile should have tipped him off.

The blissful idiot gave him the thumb up. "T'was me! The world gotta know!"

Oh boy. Neji would have rolled on the floor laughing if he wasn't so appalled by their subpar security. "How did you even manage not to get caught?"

Naruto outright deadpanned. "I'm a ninja.  _Duh_. I'll have you know I was already pranking ANBU at twelve years old. Successfully. It wasn't that hard, to be honest."

...True. "Okay. Okay, you're doing this the wrong way," Neji changed the subject abruptly.

The Uzumaki glared at his flowers dejectedly. "I should have picked the lys right?"

"No. Not what I meant. Listen, just… go home. Sleep. And come back tomorrow. I'll introduce you to some people."

His great-aunt would know what to do. She had a keen understanding of the Clan's twisted inner workings. She would figure out something to solve this mess.

"Oh… okay? Thanks Neji! Should I...take back the flowers?"

And what, glue the branches he cut back to the trunk? "No, go. Just...go."

Neji was already regretting getting involved. He should have known better than to approach Naruto's mess with ten foot pole. But he did, and here they were.

At least it was kind of... fun _._

.  
.

All families had  _that old lady_. The one who, despite the decades of age, hadn't lost a single memory and could remember the day you were born  _and_ the tantrums your dad used to pull as a kid  _and_ the kind of lewd shenanigans you grandmother got up to in her youth. The person who knew everything about everyone and holds an unique kind of power within the household. And everyone, from the Elders to the Head of the clan had to dance to her tune, one way or another.

In the Hyuuga Clan, that old lady was Grandmother Shizuka.

Hanabi loved Grandmother Shizuka. She was wicked cool, and the ideal Hanabi aspired to be for when she was as old and wrinkled as her. Technically, she wasn't even her real grandmother but her great great aunt, but who the hell cared. She had always told Hanabi to call her Grandmother, and her father could frown all he wanted, she wasn't going to stop calling her as such anytime soon.

Anyway. The point was that Grandmother was a badass even the mightiest of shinobi stood no chance to defy. Uzumaki Naruto included.

"Get that back straight, young man. I'm 81 years, my old bones are fucked up and you're not seeing me hunching on the table, do you?" Grandmother snapped, poking at said offending back with the end of her fan.

"Hey!" Naruto made an honest attempt to turn his spine into a ruler. "I'm  _trying_."

"Try harder."

From personal experience, that fan was pointier than it should be allowed to. On the other side of the table, Hanabi hid a smirk behind the sleeve of her yukata. "You can still run away Naruto-nii. No one will blame you."

Hyuuga etiquette lessons from Grandmother Shizuka could be considered nothing short of Hell. The woman was  _ruthless_ , even by their standards. Poor Naruto looked so out of his element, trying to force his usually relaxed stance into a merciless seiza and stuck inside a formal and stiff kimono more expensive than anything he had ever worn before.

"I ain't running away!" Her sister's boyfriend cheered. "I'll learn how to act like a proper Hyuuga, believe it!"

"Not with that unbecoming smile, brat," Shizuka hissed, gesturing towards Naruto's trademark grin. "And don't think I can't see you using chakra. You're about as subtle as an elephant in a porcelain shop."

"Grannyyyy!" Naruto whined, gesturing at the pile of book hoovering perilously over his head. "There are like six books over there! It's impossible!"

"You fool. Of course it's possible. The secret is in the way you hold your head. A Hyuuga  _never looks down_. And stop fidgeting already. What are you, five?"

Hanabi outright cackled at the crestfallen yet determined expression on the blond's face. At first, she had disapproved his relationship with her sister. No offence, but Hinata-nee deserved nothing less but the very best. But eventually the man had won her over. He made Hinata-nee _so happy_ , and he was trying  _so hard_. His efforts alone were commendable enough.

"Good enough, I suppose." Shizuka skeptically eyed her victim, sorry,  _pupil_. "Now let's try again with the tea."

Hanabi glanced down the sad reminders of the previous attempts spread on the table. She honestly couldn't decide between mourning for the deceased tea set or bawl her eyes out laughing at the air of deep concentration settling on her future in-law's expression.

"Remember, delicacy and strength," Grandmother repeated sharply, glaring at them like a hawk as Naruto made an approximation at pouring tea for Hanabi, all the while trying to keep the books from falling off his head. "I said,  _delicacy and strength_. This is a Mao cup you're holding, not a cheap set from the thrift store."

"How can you be  _delicate and strong_ at the same time?" Naruto groaned, as if he had never been asked to do anything harder in his entire life.

"That's the Hyuuga way, Naruto-nii." Hanabi deadpanned, before smiling at him. He hadn't spilled a single drop outside of her cup this time. Progress. "You're getting better at this!"

"Yay!" He grinned enthusiastically, accidentally making the pile of book tumble to the ground.

They all stared at the fallen soldiers, from horror to irritation. Naruto smiled sheepishly. "Er. Oops?"

"You know the rules boy." Shizuka clicked her tongue, poking at his hair with her fan again. "Two circles around the house. And no chakra.  _I will know._ "

After three hours of this treatment, Naruto knew better than to argue. There was no room for winning with Grandmother. "Aye aye." He grumbled as he stood up and put the pile of books back on top of his head.

Hanabi good-naturedly waved at him before he left. She took a sip of her tea. Too cold of course, but beggars couldn't be choosers.

"So." She blinked, putting her cup back on the table. "What's your opinion?"

Grandmother took her time to answer. "Interesting. He could be good for the clan. I can see why you and Neji like him."

Hanabi hummed in vague agreement. They understood each other well enough without words. They both sat in harmonious silence, sipping on their by now cold tea while waiting for Naruto to come back.

Which he did after another three minutes, one Hyuuga child hanging on each leg and another climbing on his back, who were making a honest attempt to topple the pile of books off Naruto's head.

It was almost physically painful not to burst out laughing hysterically.

.  
.

" _...emember Naruto-kun, back straight and head held high."_

" _Don't look him in the eyes, and everything will be fine."_

" _Are you kidding, of course he needs to look Hiashi-sama in the eyes. How else is he supposed to assert his dominance?"_

" _Don't listen to those idiots. Just do as we do, okay Naru-chan?"_

" _Shush, all of you, he's com…"_

The frantic whispering died out when Hiashi walked into the dinning room. Every single head present, all variations of the usual Hyuuga noble look except for one, turned his way and bowed formally. To his surprise, Uzumaki managed to get the appropriate Close-Ally-Of High-Shinobi-Standing-But-Clanless Nod right.

Looked like some radical changes had been done with his eldest daughter's...significant other. Instead of his usual awful orange jumpsuit, the man was wearing a tasteful kimono in subtle shades of green, and his messy hair had been reigned into a decent ponytail.

Across the room, Hiashi met Shizuka's smug eyes. The witch had been up to her old tricks, as he suspected.

Well. Let's see how far she had managed to get, then. Hiashi was quite curious by the potential progress with the man who might, or might not, become his son-in-law.

"Uzumaki-san." Hiashi slightly nodded back in greeting. "Welcome to our home."

"I thank you for your hospitality, Hiashi-sama," Uzumaki replied, using the accepted formula without a hesitation.

Hiashi hummed in approval. Who would have thought the hooligan Hinata had chosen as her companion had hidden resources of civility within him? Speaking of. His daughter was surprisingly silent, standing by her beau's side with uttering a word. Odd. "Let us sit."

In his quality of head of clan, Hiashi sat first at the end of the table, followed by the other members of Main Branch. Hinata, as the heir sat on his right, and Hanabi on his left. Only then an honorable guest should sit, which Uzumaki did perfectly, maintaining a suitable seiza next to Hinata. Then, the Branch members were allowed to sit at the table.

Hiashi eyed the crowd skeptically. Even if they were technically allowed to join the Main table, most of the time Branch prefered to eat on their own. Tonight however, it seemed they practically all wanted to be present to the party. As a support to Uzumaki or just to get a front seat to the spectacle, who could tell. Probably both.

Dinner started. Hiashi kept a sharp eye on his  _honorable guest_ during the whole ordeal. He had to admit Uzumaki had done a lot of efforts to accommodate to their lifestyle. Though he clearly wasn't at ease in his stiff kimino and tense seiza, at least he wasn't the same walking  _disaster_ as before. He messed up with his chopstick only once, a mishap which Aunt Himiko sitting at his right managed to correct without anyone being the wiser. He talked only when spoken to, and avoided subjects he knew he had no insight about.

Hiashi had to admit he was quite pleased by the results, all in all. Not quite the kind of man he would have chosen for his daughter, but a tolerable one. Especially with his credentials, his position of favor with the current Hokage and the rumors claiming he had very good chances to picked as the next one. In the actual state of things, Hiashi could accept Uzumaki as his heir's consort. And with the way the Elders were eyeing the blond, they were reconsidering their decision to separate Hinata and her plebeian boyfriend.

To be honest, he was very aware the entirety of the Clan might have his head if he got in the way of their  _epic romance_. He didn't exactly knew  _how_ , but he did notice the brat had managed to twist most of Hiashi's clanmates around his little finger.

At that point, Hiashi might not even have a choice in the first place. So it was just as well the Uzumaki had made the effort to elevate himself.

Everything was going fine, until it wasn't. But the disaster didn't come from Uzumaki as expected, no. It came from  _Hinata_ , of all people.

Focused as he was on his guest, he failed to notice the mess Hinata was making of herself until she literally  _belched to his face_. He turned towards his usually perfectly behaved daughter, shocked beyond belief. Hinata met his horrified stare without flinching instead of confusedly apologizing as she would normally have. Her cheeks were red with embarrassment, but she showed no sign of remorse, her perfect seiza relaxed into an indecent position and her legs spread slightly apart.

Then, to his everlasting shame, she grabbed her food  _with her bare hands_.

" _Hinata_ ," he eventually hissed, mortified by her unbelievable lack of manners as everyone around the table gasped.

"Yesh Fazer?" She dared to reply with her mouth full, before gulping loudly. Sauce fell on her kimino, and she casually wiped the ungraceful trace with her finger.

Into what kind of alternate reality had he fallen? Where Uzumaki was the one with decent table manners and his daughter might as well be called an  _ogre?_  What was this cursed genjutsu he had been trapped in without his notice?

"Hi-Hinata-chan?" Uzumaki said hesitantly, looking as confused by the situation than everyone else. "Are you...okay?"

Hinata blinked. Slowly put her chopsticks back on the table. And took a deep breath.

"N-Naruto-kun. I truly appreciate the efforts you did for my sake. You have no idea how much I do. But I cannot in good conscience let you denature yourself in such ways. You shouldn't have to force yourself to be someone you're not, just because we are not capable of accepting difference from our draconian lifestyle."

Uzumaki's blue eyes glistened with unshed tears like the besotted fool he was. "Hinata-chan…"

"You take us as we are. O-or you don't take us at all," she firmly declared, before standing up. "I'll let you think about it. Thank you for the meal."

Uzumaki hurried after her. Shock silence in the room. Until, of course, Old Shizuka broke it with a short cackle.

"Eh. It's always the quiet ones, isn't it?"

.

Crumbs of sunlight gleamed on the evening sky and between Hinata's fingers. She felt happy. Content. Peaceful.

Brave. He never failed to make her feel brave. Or perhaps he made her feel like she  _could_  be brave on her own.

So when she leant over his head, tucked on her lap, she didn't hesitate. "Naruto-kun."

"Hmmm?" He replied without bothering to open his eyes, snuggling more closely against her belly.

"Would you consider marrying me?"

**Author's Note:**

> Funny anecdote: In French, basilic means basil. It made my beta laugh a lot I confused both in english. To quote her: “.... I sure hope that Neiji doesn't mean basilic xD Because... well. That's... exquisite taste. Not for the weak stomach for sure.” and “No. No Naruto. Bad idea. You are not to chop off any arms of any persons just to spice up the Hyuga diet. They can get a chicken on the market if they are in need of meat.” You may now make fun of me too XD
> 
> If you want to talk to me, or just hang out with cool people, the link of the Naruto discord sever I'm lurking in is [Genjutsu Support Group](https://discord.gg/cEE8Rj8).


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